pinoy pilgrim talk

International Conference on LOVE, SEX and LIFE (II)

November 14, 2007 – 4:13 am

The 2nd international conference on LOVE, SEX and LIFE will be held in the Philippines from November 20 to 22 in Manila.The conference, called Edicongress, is organized by Intermedia Consulting, Educhild and DAWV.

So what’s this talk about LOVE, SEX and LIFE all about? Well my friends, this conference is its 2nd of its kind in the whole world. In this day and age of ours where many individuals have their own notions about LOVE, SEX and LIFE, we see a world confused about the meanings of these three great things–LOVE, SEX and LIFE. Many mistakenly see sex as disjoint from love and life. The teaching that sex must be done within marriage and not only for mere pleasure is not the monopoly of Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam or even Christianity. Sex had always been considered, regardless of your religion, a sacred thing and something to mess-up with. I bet you a cup of coffee at Starbucks that those who are addicted to sex and lustfully see any man or woman as sex toys are usually uncouth (in local parlance, “bastos”), immature, comfort-seekers, weak, they don’t go to church (regardless of their religion), and they usually seek pleasure in the acquisition of so many material things and by going to all sorts of gimmicks and parties.

The last point is important.

Well, first of all, the acquisition of material things and going to gimmicks and parties is NOT bad at all. Here at Pinoy Pilgrim, we like gimmicks and parties. In fact, if you buy things for yourself or family, and if you party or gimmick for enjoyment (in the proper sense of the word) and for leisure, it’s very good. What is bad is when you consider these things as “YOU”. If you consider these things as an end in themselves, as if you cannot live without them, then your identity is defined by “what you have” and not by “who you are”. This means that when you, for example, lose “what you have”, then you lose your identity since you’ve based your identity on all the cool gadgets and trinkets you have.

Before losing the thread of the discussion, let’s get back to our discussion of sex and the “acquisition of material things”:

We know that sex gives a lot pleasure (and this pleasure is good since it had been willed by God—yes, it was willed by God regardless of your religion). The pleasure is good but is not lasting. The pleasure cannot be repeated continuously (without stop) for hours and hours. In fact, if anyone would attempt to derive maximum pleasure from sex by attempting to engage in it continuously without stopping at all, one would probably die!

Once the pleasure of sex is reached, soon afterwards it disappears. However, those who are addicted to pleasure and sex then want to experience more pleasure. Since a man and woman’s physical make-up cannot support non-stop sex (even if they want to derive maximum pleasure), they will divert their attention to “pleasure-giving” things such as a lot of material things and parties and gimmicks. Again, these material things are not bad in themselves but making them your sort of god will trap you and make you the slave of these things. The worst thing is that the person does not realize that he is trapped. A person will try to derive pleasure from everything–from the things he has and from the gimmicks and parties he or she attends. Then, when the pleasure subsides, he seeks it in sex. However, since man’s capacity to have is insatiable, he will eventually find his forms of pleasure-seeking incapable of making him happy.

You want us to prove that man’s capacity to have is insatiable? Here’s a simple test:

If I give you 100 bucks (without any cost or liability on your part), I’m sure you would accept it.

If, instead of 100 bucks, I decide to give you 1000 bucks, I’m sure you would accept it.

If, instead of 1000 bucks, I decide to give you 1 Million bucks, I’m sure you would accept it.

If, instead of 1 Million bucks, I decide to deposit 1 Billion in your bank account, I’m sure you would accept it.

If I decide to give you a new Mercedes Benz with the 1 Billion in your bank account, you will be st _ _ _ d (uh, star studded?) if you don’t accept it.

Boooof! We can go on and on with this argument.

Thus, with the confidence of a mathematical proof, not just beyond reasonable doubt but without any doubt at all, we therefore conclude with 100% confidence and without any margin of error that:

A person’s longing to have is insatiable.

If all you have disappears and if, with old age, you lose that sexual drive, then you would definitely be lonely since you’ve based your happiness on pleasure.

So, that’s the relation between sex and the over-acquisition of material things.

LOVE, SEX and LIFE in the Context of Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam and Christianity

The world’s great religions have all taught about the proper use of sex as something not disjoint to LOVE and LIFE simply because that is the fact.

Buddhism

Check out the Internet authority on Buddhism www.buddhanet.net.

Here are some excerpts from the article on marriage from buddhanet.

…children born through the pleasure of sex must be the
responsibility of the partners involved, at least until they have
grown up. And marriage ensures that this responsibility is upheld and
carried out.

…it is thought that all Buddhists, particularly people of
both sexes in love and contemplating marriage, should adhere to the
age-old traditional concept that they maintain chastity until the
nuptial date.

…According to Buddhism, those who are involved in extra-marital sex
with someone who is already married, who has been betrothed to someone
else, and also with those who are under the protection of their
parents or guardians are said to be guilty of sexual misconduct,
because there is a rupture of social norms, where a third party is
being made to suffer as a result of the selfishness of one or the
other partner.

Hinduism

These excerpts have been coped verbatim from http://www.hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/h_marriage.asp

A few simple and straight facts about Hindu marriages.

1. Hindu marriage is essentially an extension of the four aims (purusharthas) and the four stages (ashramas) of human life. Unless a person has accepted the life of renunciation out of his intense longing for liberation, marriage is sacred responsibility (dharma) of each and every individual in society.

2. Hindus consider marriage as a sacred relationship, between two souls, not just two bodies. Marriage is meant for the continuation of family and practice of dharma. In Hindu tradition, there is no concept as divorce. Once married, a couple are wedded for life. Divorce is a modern practice introduced into Hindu society through the Hindu Marriage Act in India.

3. Hindus believe that the marriage relationship extends beyond one’s life.

4. In the traditional marriage, the bride and the bridegroom are considered as divinities. The bride is first married to gods and then placed under the bridegroom’s protection as a gift from gods.

5. At the time of marriage, the bridegroom ties a sacred thread around the bride’s neck and accepts her hand (panigrahanam.) in marriage. Then they both take seven steps (saptapadi) together around the fire uttering vows of friendship and mutual loyalty.

6. Hindu marriage tradition recognizes the importance of a woman in the family. She is expected to share the responsibilities of the household like a goddess (grihalakshmi) and enjoy the love and care of her husband and children.

7. According to Hindu marriage Act 1955 passed in India, the eligible age for marriage is 21 years in case of a boy and 18 years in case of a girl. This law has been passed mainly to ban child marriages and such practices as polygamy, which is recognized as a punishable offence.

Islam

The following had been lifted from

http://www.ummah.net/islam/taqwapalace/islam/set6.htm

Many of us have heard that Islam exhorts polygamy (the marriage of one man to many wives). For many centuries, the particular verse from the Koran that had been most misinterpreted and taken out of context is the following (Qur’an 4:3):

(Click the above image to zoom)

The transliteration is as follows:

[004:003] And if you fear that you will not be just in dealing with the orphans, then marry of other women as may be agreeable to you, two, or three, or four; and if you fear you will not be able to do justice, then marry only one or marry what your right hand possess. Thus it is more likely that you will not do injustice.

The Koran actually limited the practice of Polygamy and says that MONOGAMY is the ONLY natural and acceptable form of marriage for Society in general. If it permitted polygamy, that was because of aberrations. It is not the general and natural rule.

Polygamy is suggested only by the Koran if it relates to the “oppressed or the orphans among women (4:3)”, if justice can be done by marrying more than one. If justice cannot be done by marrying more than one from among the “oppressed (Yatama)” class of women, then the Koran simply says that monogamy is the ONE and ONLY acceptable marriage bond.

The general rule in Islam is still monogamy (i.e. one husband to one wife).

Christianity

The 6th and 9th commandments state:

6th commandment: Thou shall not commit adultery

9th commandment: Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife

In the new Testament, the fullness of the teaching on chastity and marriage has not been better explained except by the Lord Jesus Christ himself in Matthew 5:28:

“But I say to you that whoever who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

And finally, the entire verse from Matthew 19:3-9:

(3) Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked,

“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” (4) “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ (5) and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

(6) So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man put asunder.”

(7)  “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” (8) Jesus replied,

“Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. (9) I tell you that anyone who puts away his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Thus, the teaching of Christianity has always been clear.  Sex is only for marriage.  Any use of sex outside it is an aberration.   There are no exceptions regardless of the social context, era, customs, and place where man lives.

Conclusion

LOVE, SEX and LIFE are certainly hot topics for anyone’s discussion. However, for us to appreciate and enjoy these realities, we must understand them better. In the same way, you will perhaps enjoy the music of Bach if you understand it. Similarly, a person will appreciate and enjoy rock music if he or she knows what rock music is all about. You will appreciate LOVE, SEX and LIFE if you know about it.

In any case, we invite you to attend the edicongress. For details, check out the conference website at www.edicongress.com.